Old Spice
by XxPhoenix FlightxX
Summary: A parody for my least favorite couple of all time, not to be taken seriously, it's just all in good fun, guys. WARNING: Major crack!fic and crack!pairing! Rated K, but if you seriously want it to go up, then tell me so. Please enjoy, read and review!


**For anyone that knows me, they know I hate Jericho/Terra. Yeah, I've given them a huge benefit of a doubt, and I think anyone writing them is wasting marvelous writing skills on a stupid couple. Or, on DeviantART, drawing skills. Seriously, it's not that their work is bad, it's just… Well let me tell you why they're so wrong together. First, I've said it once and I'll say it again: She had sex with his dad. What, did she go up to him and say, "Hey, I was fooling around with your dad, having an awesome time, but that didn't work out and I threw him in a volcano, so can I have you, instead?" I mean, he's a playboy but he wouldn't go there. Before you flame me on that, yeah, it was in the comics and probably wouldn't happen in the cartoon (Have you compared them at all? He'd break her like the twig she was. Like her or hate her, she was horribly animated.) But if we're so stuck on the cartoon, when did she actually meet Jericho? Don't bring up that school girl that was her clone. Whether that was the real Terra or not, she didn't want anything to do with BB, why would she care about Jericho? Also, they have totally opposite personalities. He's shy, quiet, kind, gentle, and perfectly fine with living alone, and also a pacifist. She's bold, a bit loud, not afraid, constantly in need of having friends (though THAT was a mess, so she gave them up for Slade), a bit sadistic (in my opinion!), completely psychotic (check the comic, people), and definitely a fighter (not a bad thing, just a fact). So, there's the end of my eternity-long authors note, I just wanted to point that out to you. Remember, this is all in good fun. Flamers will be pointed in this direction. Read on.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans comic, or cartoon, and I don't own JerichoxTerra (thank heavens) nor would I ever desire to own the latter, unless it gave me grounds to destroy it.**

The door opened and Jericho swiftly turned to see who had invaded his privacy. He was greeted with the other resident blonde and his posture relaxed. It was only the beautiful girl that occupied his dreams.

"Oh, sorry Jericho, I didn't know you were in here. Should I go?" asked Terra, seeing that he had only a towel wrapped around his waist. He waved a hand at her as if to dismiss the idea.

_I don't mind, what did you need?_ He signed to her. Why would he ever mind being half naked in the same room as her?

"I just needed to do my hair, if you don't mind," she said, stepping into the bathroom.

_It's fine, _he shrugged. She set her things for her morning routine down on the counter next to his, wiped some steam off the mirror, and set to work. Jericho noticed that she actually had some pretty bad bed-head, though you wouldn't know it by looking at her during the day. At the same time, he totally thought she was beautiful. He loved her chicken legs, noodle arms, lack of a nose, straw hair, and all of her other disproportionate features. He inwardly shrugged it off and continued his own morning procedure. She looked around absentmindedly while fixing her locks into place, and glanced over at his things.

"You use Old Spice?" she asked.

He looked up at her. _What? Oh, yeah, I do. Like it?_

She laughed. "You're even in a towel in a bathroom."

He smiled. _True, but I don't have a horse at the moment. BB sleeps in till noon on the weekends._

"Darn," she said in mock regret.

_Sorry to disappoint you,_ he teased.

"And I would love to have seen you shirtless on a horse…"

_What was that?_

"Nothing!" she said with an innocent smile, continuing to mess with her hair, finally putting the last piece into place. "What do you think?"

He looked her over, wearing her spaghetti-strap and shorts, her hair now in its usual style. _You look fine. And also like you look every other day._ He turned back to the mirror, nothing more to say on the subject. He pretended not to care, though on the inside he was burning with a secret, passionate love for her.

"Well what else would you have me do with it?" asked Terra, speaking outside of her vocabulary. He rolled his eyes good naturedly and grabbed her shoulders, turning her around so that her back was to him. To her surprise, he began braiding her hair, with her butterfly clip now between his lips.

"When did you learn how to braid?" she asked. Of course, he couldn't answer her, his hands and fingers were occupied with her curls. He loved the soft feeling of it between his fingers, the strands tangling around his digits. He hated to finish, he wanted to touch her glorious hair all day. But finish he did, rather quickly. His deft fingers moved the silver butterfly to the end of the braid, fastening it firmly into place.

_Kole taught me. She likes her hair played with._ He put his careless charade back up, now that she was looking at him again. Terra turned this way and that, looking in the mirror at all angles. It was a surprisingly good braid.

"Thanks, Jericho," she said. "So you like it now?"

He only looked at her and nodded.

"Alright, then." Seeing that she would get no more response out of him, she picked up her things and began to leave, setting up the predictable chick-flick scenario in three, two-

He grabbed her arm, swinging her back around and kissing her, making her drop all her things to the ground. He kissed her for a very, very long time, and then pulled away, signing frantically.

_Terra, don't leave! I lied. Even though it's canonically impossible, I really do love you! I was just pretending I didn't to get your attention, which worked so well. But I couldn't keep it in any longer! I feel like you understand me, just because you were associated by my dad, and "hurt by him", even though you were the one to throw him into a pit of lava. This is totally the same as how *I* was hurt by him- nearly killed by him as a child, and constantly rejected by him in favor of my older brother throughout my entire life with him! I love you because you love him, the man I hate most in this world!_

She was practically crying tears of joy. "Jericho, I love you too! And since you're a man-whore and I'm a traitor, let's ditch Beast Boy and Kole, and leave millions of fans heartbroken, including them! Breaking Beast Boy's heart is my favorite hobby! Never mind he's the only possible reason I could be randomly back on the team; he's really the only hope I have, and when I throw that away, it will be disastrous and you will have to fight to keep me on the team as your new love interest, which would most likely get you booted off as well! And even though you are nothing like your father whatsoever, and I can't believe you're related at all, I am totally turned on to you for no discernable reason! We feel totally different about Slade, so logically, we must have this emotional connection revolving around him. Let's make out!"

_Will it get you in bed with me eventually?_

"Well, I'm a total slut so give it five minutes!" she said a enthusiastically.

_Then I'm in!_

And the rest was history.

**Sorry, everybody, really. Thankfully I have never seen or read of them making out, or anything else of the sort, so it wasn't a total parody. I didn't base this on anything at all (nothing I've read of them was like this even remotely, so sorry if it seemed that way.) but I was still influenced by quite a few things. First, my marvelous friend MEEPheheCandy, for giving me the prompt, Old Spice. Go check her stuff out, she does some cute JeriKole. Next, the bit with him in a towel, that came from chapter three of another favorite of mine, Strumming Along by Beatz, go check that out. It can be found on my favorites list. It has several different Jericho pairings scattered in it, even if they're just nods in the general direction of said pairing. Yes, that includes a bit of Jericho/Terra. The bash at Terra's monstrous animation in the cartoon has been pointed out time and time again, but I really enjoyed the video by wishingicouldfly called "Terra is UGLY". Go check that out. Her hair being braided came from a lovely pic on DA, titled "Terra and Jericho XD" by Porcelain-Requiem. Google it and it's the first one up. Though, I doubt this fic is anywhere near what she had in mind when she drew it ^_^;; Oh and a special little shout-out to Lorna Cliffe, who was the first to tell me that Terra and Deathstroke/Slade did the nasty ;D so go find her, too. Hm, was that it? I suppose so. Thank you for your time, and remember that this was all in good fun. Reviews are nice. Flames: used to blow things up and then pointed in the direction of my impossibly long author's note/rant. Thank you for reading this story and not hating me- *Is shot***


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